With nothing really truly noteworthy happening last week, I think I’ll just jump right into the picks and power poll.
Montpelier Pink Baboonsies V New York Conspiracy
The Baboonsies put an end to the Da Ox Raw Dopemen’s monumental run last week and they look to continue their luck against a team that has been pretty damn pathetic the last couple of weeks. Looks like whomever was managing the conspiracy decided to quit because they sat Chris Johnson last week. Way to make it tough for the opponent.
Winner: Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
Boston Beagles V The Drew Brees Show
Two 3-5 teams square off in a pretty interesting matchup of quarterbacks. The Brees Show obviously has Drew Brees who is probably the most valuable fantasy player at his position from week to week, while the Beagles feature Aaron Rodgers and the volatile Kurt Warner. I think the Beagles have the stronger supporting cast and The Brees Show was one of few teams this year to not surpass the 100 point mark last week. That’s bad.
Winner: Boston Beagles
Da OX Raw Dopemen V Buddies Blankets
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m pretty sure Buddies will be mathematically eliminated after this loss. He’s been eliminated to me for weeks prior.
Winner: Da Ox Raw Dopemen
Sunbury Bowl Bashers V Touchdown My Pants
This game is a tease. The only match up of the week featuring two winning teams, one would think that it looks to be a promising game. When one looks closer however it’s quite apparent that the Bashers outclass My Pants at nearly every position. This game should be one sided and the Bashers will continue their playoff run.
Winner: Sunbury Bowl Bashers
Tiger Dog Cats V The Fighting Otters
The Dogcats have the better record but that is very misleading. They are the only team in the league not to have scored 1000 points. They have allowed the least amount of points in the league as well but I don’t see them outscoring the Otters this week
Winner: The Fighting Otters
Who Dey? All Day! V Insano Flex
Insano Flex is getting killed by the Bye and their team has been struggling a bit in the last three weeks. Who Dey has a full roster of players and the advantage.
Winner: Who Dey? All Day!
POWER POLL
1. Sunbury Bowls Bashers
Best record in the league and the most well rounded team. This number one ranking has been earned.
2. Da Ox Raw Dopemen
I don’t really care that you lost last week, you can still score points in bunches and may be the most dangerous team in the league any given week.
3. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
You won, but you talked shit about last weeks post, you stay in the same spot… How’s that for credibility.
4. Boston Beagles
The Beagles are Hot Hot Hot. But they are winning pretty ugly.
5. Touchdown My Pants
Beat a down Drew Brees team. Really after the top three teams everyone is pretty mediocre.
6. Insano Flex
Peyton Manning is keeping your team afloat. Him and Peterson are all you got.
7. New York Conspiracy
4-4 somehow. I expect a big downswing.
8. Tiger Dogcats
You still need to score some fucking points.
9. Who Dey? All Dey!
I feel a bit better after last week. I don’t understand how you can possibly be carrying exactly zero bengals on your team. What a fucking insult.
10. The Drew Brees Show
It’s not looking good with the Saints liking the run a little bit more every week.
11. The Fighting Otters.
These Otters sure don’t seem to have much fight in them. I don’t know how you have three wins.
12. Buddies Blankets
I think I deserve an award for knowing that you suck from the very start of the season. I’m happy I play you again.
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That’s all I got. If anyone has any suggestions as to what I should right about, or if you have any contributions. Lemme know. Peace
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
And... We're Back
After a two week drinking binge err absence the RFL PG has returned to a league that is much different than where we left it. Touchdown My Pants is reeling. Da Ox Raw Dopemen have assumed the status of the greatest fantasy team ever assembled. And Buddies Blankets is the worst team in the league! Ok, so things haven’t changed that much, but it’s been an interesting two weeks and it will be reflected in the power poll. What I would like to do before we get to that however is handout the official A Little Bit After Halfway Through The Season Awards! Handed out in order to recognize greatness or mock failure, these awards will surely be on you’re teams mantel place at the end of the year.
BIGGEST SURPRISE TEAM - Boston Beagles
He’s very quietly putting together a playoff run in what looks to be the most competitive division in the league. While on paper his team is not that impressive (outside of the QB position) they just continue to get it done.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT - The Fighting Otters/ Tigers Dogcats
The preseason number 5 in the power poll has done nothing at all this season. It’s getting kind of embarrassing. Plus, you were really slow in concrete football.
As for the DogCats; Yeah you’re 4-3 but you’ve done it by scoring the least points in the league BY FAR. Clearly you’ve just been lucky. I expect a down turn in the second half.
BEST IN SEASON TRADE - Buddies Blankets
Ronnie Brown, Chad Ochocinco, Matt Hasselbeck, and Chansi Stuckey for Delhome, Cotchery, Manningham, Jackson
SURPRISE! Buddies actually did something right in the absolute raping he put on Matt Redd by taking Ronnie Brown, Chad Ochocinco, Matt Hasselbeck, and Chansi Stuckey in exchange for basically nothing. The results clearly haven’t shown up in the standings as Buddies is 1-6, but he got two top players at their positions and a top 15-20 QB.
WORST IN SEASON TRADE - Touchdown My Pants
Andre Johnson for Cedric Benson, Braylon Edwards, and Nate Washington
Matt Redd’s role in the trade above was absolutely god awful but in terms of teams that have been most negatively affected by their trades this one ranks highest. In trading the best reciever in the league for one top of the line player and two wannabes the Pants are really hurting. They may have traded their way out of the playoffs…. FUCK!
THE ONE MAN TEAM AWARD - The Drew Brees Show
If Brees is on bye, or the Saints decide to run the ball… Forget about it. If Brees is on? God Damn, look out.
THE “THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE” AWARD - Da Ox Raw Dope Men and Sunbury Bowls Bashers
These teams both had their rocky starts but as the football season has reached full speed they are both hitting their stride and are my favorites to face each other in the championship.
WITH THE FIRST PICK IN THE 2010 DRAFT - Buddies Blankets
What more need be said?
POWER POLL
I’m just going to do an abbreviated power poll tonight I think, so here goes,
1. Da Ox Raw Dopemen
Holy Shit!
2. Sunbury Bowls Bashers
Andre Johnson, huh? He’s pretty good isn’t he?
3. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
You’re pretty close to sucking badly. Get it together
4. Boston Beagles
Three wins in a row. Nice.
5. Touchdown My Pants
Two BAD losses in a row. Shitty
6. New York Conspiracy
Meh, 4-3 is good but what else is there?
7. The Drew Brees Show
Drew is sexy.
8. Tiger Dogcats
Score some points!
9. Who Dey? All Dey!
You’re close on my tail and will probably catch me. Asshole
10. Insano Flex
3-4 and losers of two in a row
11. The Fighting Otters.
What’s funny is I didn’t have to change this from last time.
12. Buddies Blankets
See #11
Ok, I’ve had enough for today. If you guys can think of any other awards you’d like to hand out, feel free. Time to go hit some beers and hand out some candy.
BIGGEST SURPRISE TEAM - Boston Beagles
He’s very quietly putting together a playoff run in what looks to be the most competitive division in the league. While on paper his team is not that impressive (outside of the QB position) they just continue to get it done.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT - The Fighting Otters/ Tigers Dogcats
The preseason number 5 in the power poll has done nothing at all this season. It’s getting kind of embarrassing. Plus, you were really slow in concrete football.
As for the DogCats; Yeah you’re 4-3 but you’ve done it by scoring the least points in the league BY FAR. Clearly you’ve just been lucky. I expect a down turn in the second half.
BEST IN SEASON TRADE - Buddies Blankets
Ronnie Brown, Chad Ochocinco, Matt Hasselbeck, and Chansi Stuckey for Delhome, Cotchery, Manningham, Jackson
SURPRISE! Buddies actually did something right in the absolute raping he put on Matt Redd by taking Ronnie Brown, Chad Ochocinco, Matt Hasselbeck, and Chansi Stuckey in exchange for basically nothing. The results clearly haven’t shown up in the standings as Buddies is 1-6, but he got two top players at their positions and a top 15-20 QB.
WORST IN SEASON TRADE - Touchdown My Pants
Andre Johnson for Cedric Benson, Braylon Edwards, and Nate Washington
Matt Redd’s role in the trade above was absolutely god awful but in terms of teams that have been most negatively affected by their trades this one ranks highest. In trading the best reciever in the league for one top of the line player and two wannabes the Pants are really hurting. They may have traded their way out of the playoffs…. FUCK!
THE ONE MAN TEAM AWARD - The Drew Brees Show
If Brees is on bye, or the Saints decide to run the ball… Forget about it. If Brees is on? God Damn, look out.
THE “THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE” AWARD - Da Ox Raw Dope Men and Sunbury Bowls Bashers
These teams both had their rocky starts but as the football season has reached full speed they are both hitting their stride and are my favorites to face each other in the championship.
WITH THE FIRST PICK IN THE 2010 DRAFT - Buddies Blankets
What more need be said?
POWER POLL
I’m just going to do an abbreviated power poll tonight I think, so here goes,
1. Da Ox Raw Dopemen
Holy Shit!
2. Sunbury Bowls Bashers
Andre Johnson, huh? He’s pretty good isn’t he?
3. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
You’re pretty close to sucking badly. Get it together
4. Boston Beagles
Three wins in a row. Nice.
5. Touchdown My Pants
Two BAD losses in a row. Shitty
6. New York Conspiracy
Meh, 4-3 is good but what else is there?
7. The Drew Brees Show
Drew is sexy.
8. Tiger Dogcats
Score some points!
9. Who Dey? All Dey!
You’re close on my tail and will probably catch me. Asshole
10. Insano Flex
3-4 and losers of two in a row
11. The Fighting Otters.
What’s funny is I didn’t have to change this from last time.
12. Buddies Blankets
See #11
Ok, I’ve had enough for today. If you guys can think of any other awards you’d like to hand out, feel free. Time to go hit some beers and hand out some candy.
Friday, October 9, 2009
The King has fallen!!!
This past week of the RoBry Football League wasn’t just the end of another week of fantasy football but rather the ending of an era. The great and tremendously feared Rob Bryant went through a week of fantasy sports that he hasn’t seen in quite some time. First, he fell violently in the championship round of The Real League Fantasy Baseball league. His team of misfits and failures finally played to their true level and he was soundly defeated. Secondly, Mr. Baboonsies was absolutely lambasted in last weeks football game by none other than the surprising Touchdown My Pants. The game was so out of control that RoBry was basically assured of defeat before the night game on Sunday.
What we can all hope is that this s the beginning of a trend rather than an aberration. See the Pink Baboonsies in a position of utter defeat is not only good for the team that they are playing but it is good for the league. It makes me believe in fairness, America, and God.
Picks:
New York Conspiracy V Touchdown My Pants
Maybe the match up of the year so far. The two highest scoring teams in the league and the teams ranked number one and two per the ESPN rankings. Both teams suffer from a few bye week issues. The Pants are missing Pierre Thomas, Vincent Jackson, and Antonio Gates. While NYC is missing out on Greg Jennings and a Kicker. I don’t think this game in doubt. New York by quite a bit.
Winner: New York Conspiracy
Buddies Blankets V Insano Flex
BUDDIES WON A GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They lose to Insano Flex big. Back to the losing ways. Chad Ochocinco was a good move though. Not trading Ray Rice to me. BAD!
Winner: Insano Flex
Boston Beagles V Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
Good rebound game for the Baboonsies. The Beagles only have one win under their belt and have under performed pretty much every week. Baboonsies.
Winner: Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
Da OX Raw Dopemen V Who Dey? All Day!
Who Dey is coming off of a bad beat where Jason Campbell fumbled the first play of the day and put them in a hole they couldn’t overcome. The Dopemen have now won two in a row and are starting to look like the team that we thought they would be from the start. Who dey is one of 4 teams not to score 600 points.
Winner: Da OX Raw Dopemen
The Drew Brees Show V Tiger Dog Cats
The Brees Show started out the year really well hit a bump in the road but came back last week. The DogCats seem to be hitting their stride. Still I can’t hate on Brees, he runs shit.
Winner: The Drew Brees Show
The Fighting Otters V Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers
Nick Frazier’s weekly embarrassment takes the field against a team that has disappointed the last two weeks. This game has all the makings of terribleness. I’m going to go ahead and Jinx the Otters. Maybe Sunbury Bowls will show up this week.
Winner: The Fighting Otters
Week 5 Power Poll
1. New York Conspiracy
A girl in the top spot?!?!??! Eww. Well, it’s likely to stay that way for the time being. Her team is seemingly for real.
2. Da OX Raw Dopemen
Yeah, he’s 2-2 but he’s scored an impressive amount of points and it looking like the team we though he would be. Should get another win this week.
3. Touchdown My Pants
A win over the reigning champion and a jump in the rankings. A tough bit of the season ahead and a suddenly potent looking division should keep them on their toes.
4. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
He lost badly last week but he still has history on his side. Should rebound nicely and continue to run his division.
5. The Drew Brees Show
Like New York, a quality team with a woman at the helm. The mind boggles. Drew Brees can win games by himself most weeks. He never hurts.
6. Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers
Get it together asshole. Stop losing to jokes when I pick you.
7. Insano Flex
Still don’t know what to think of this team. When they play well, they play really well. When they don’t, they really fucking don’t.
8. Tiger Dogcats
Talent is starting to overcome this team. They are not looking too bad. They maybe able to surprise their way into the playoffs.
9. Who Dey? All Day!
After an absolutely pathetic trade to rid themselves of Ocho Cinco this team is without talent. It makes me absolutely sick. Blaugh.
10. Boston Beagles
1-3 and can’t score that much. A below average team. They are who we thought they were.
11. The Fighting Otters.
With Leftwich gone this team as no leader, no top scorer, and no hope.
12. Buddies Blankets
He won but I don’t believe. Buddies continues to be a joke of a franchise. I want to see you crushed every week for my own personal satisfaction and so I can justify keeping you in this spot. Matt Redd is going to make it hard though.
Friday, October 2, 2009
The Leftwich Era of greatness is over!
It took a mere three weeks for the NFL to show Nick Frazier how stupid he was for taking Leftwich in the first non-keeper round of the RoBry League Draft. Alas he did not throw for 10,000 yard or 1,000,000 touchdowns. As a matter of fact he was so brutal that he went from being the starter to being the third string Qb on his team. Mr. Frazier, your failure at drafting has lead me to create a new award in your honor. I call it the “Frazier-Leftwich Award for Fucking Moronic Fantasy Football Moves” or BUDDIES for short. You truly have shown that you are worthless. 
On to the picks and power poll.
Week 3 Picks
Montpelier Pink Baboonsies V Touchdown My Pants
An interesting match up has the number one ranked teams from the Mewtwo and Magneton divisions squaring off. While Touchdown is projected to win by nearly 40 points and has a slight edge over the Baboons in overall scoring, Montpelier is 3-0 and has shown no signs of slowing down.
Winner: Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
Tiger Dog Cats V Who Dey? All Day!
Two teams coming off of surprising and impressive wins. The Dog Cats had been woeful in the two prior weeks however, while Who Dey had been average. Advantage Who Dey.
Winner: Who Dey? All Day!
Insano Flex V The Drew Brees Show
These two can really put up some points when all is going well, yet they are bothing coming off of pretty bad beats from a week ago. The Drew Brees Show lost to the terrible Otters though and only put up 112 points.
Winner: Insano Flex
Da OX Raw Dopemen V Sunbury Bowl's Bashers
Well so much for Sunbury rolling in last weeks game. The got a loss handed to them by the Tiger Dogcats, a terrible team. Meanwhile Da OX was busying hanging 171 on the board behind the arm of Matt Schaub. Schaub plays a week Oakland team this week so I got the Dopemen
Winner: Da OX Raw Dopemen
The Fighting Otters V New York Conspiracy
NYC continues to put up points while The Fighting Otters don’t. The Otters are feeling good after last weeks loss and the fact that they no longer feature a Leftwich based offense but I don’t think they are a match for NYC, even if she only starts 14 players.
Winner: New York Conspiracy
Buddies Blankets V Boston Beagles
The battle of the B’s is set to be one of the least enjoyable games of the week. Boston has won a game this season which is more than you can say for Buddies.
Winner: Boston Beagles
POWER POLL
Here’s a quick one because I am tired, sick and don’t feel like being at a computer any longer.
1. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
2. Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers
3. New York Conspiracy
4. Insano Flex
5. Da Ox Raw Dopemen
6. Who Dey? All Day!
7. Touchdown My Pants
8. The Drew Brees Show
9. The Fighting Otters
10. Tiger Dogcats
11. Boston Beagles
12. Buddies Blankets
On to the picks and power poll.
Week 3 Picks
Montpelier Pink Baboonsies V Touchdown My Pants
An interesting match up has the number one ranked teams from the Mewtwo and Magneton divisions squaring off. While Touchdown is projected to win by nearly 40 points and has a slight edge over the Baboons in overall scoring, Montpelier is 3-0 and has shown no signs of slowing down.
Winner: Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
Tiger Dog Cats V Who Dey? All Day!
Two teams coming off of surprising and impressive wins. The Dog Cats had been woeful in the two prior weeks however, while Who Dey had been average. Advantage Who Dey.
Winner: Who Dey? All Day!
Insano Flex V The Drew Brees Show
These two can really put up some points when all is going well, yet they are bothing coming off of pretty bad beats from a week ago. The Drew Brees Show lost to the terrible Otters though and only put up 112 points.
Winner: Insano Flex
Da OX Raw Dopemen V Sunbury Bowl's Bashers
Well so much for Sunbury rolling in last weeks game. The got a loss handed to them by the Tiger Dogcats, a terrible team. Meanwhile Da OX was busying hanging 171 on the board behind the arm of Matt Schaub. Schaub plays a week Oakland team this week so I got the Dopemen
Winner: Da OX Raw Dopemen
The Fighting Otters V New York Conspiracy
NYC continues to put up points while The Fighting Otters don’t. The Otters are feeling good after last weeks loss and the fact that they no longer feature a Leftwich based offense but I don’t think they are a match for NYC, even if she only starts 14 players.
Winner: New York Conspiracy
Buddies Blankets V Boston Beagles
The battle of the B’s is set to be one of the least enjoyable games of the week. Boston has won a game this season which is more than you can say for Buddies.
Winner: Boston Beagles
POWER POLL
Here’s a quick one because I am tired, sick and don’t feel like being at a computer any longer.
1. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
2. Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers
3. New York Conspiracy
4. Insano Flex
5. Da Ox Raw Dopemen
6. Who Dey? All Day!
7. Touchdown My Pants
8. The Drew Brees Show
9. The Fighting Otters
10. Tiger Dogcats
11. Boston Beagles
12. Buddies Blankets
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Week 3 Picks
I almost forgot to make the picks. Here they are. Sorry I did them in a hurry. Peace
Montpelier Pink Baboonsies V Buddies Blankets
Buddies has out scored Robry but he’s also terrible.
Winner: Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
Da OX Raw Dopemen V Boston Beagles
The is the week Da Ox Raw finally gets a notch in the winning column. The Beagles are weak but coming off a win. Still, This shouldn’t be close.
Winner: Da Ox Raw Dopemen
Who Dey? All Day! V Touchdown My Pants
WDAD is coming off a brutal loss to Sunbury Bowls Bashers and is now 1-1. Touchdown hasn’t really played anyone but has put up some impressive numbers in the first two weeks. I would like Who Dey better if he kept Steve Smith instead of trading him for garbage.
Winner: Touchdown My Pants
Tiger Dogcats V Sunbury Bowl's Bashers
For the third week in a row Sunbury will face a terrible team. This might be the worst team in the league so the bashers should roll.
Winner: Sunbury Bowl's Bashers
Insano Flex V New York Conspiracy
Insano Flex has been perfect thus far and I don’t see that changing against NYC. If Chris Johnson goes off again it could be closer than some people think, however.
Winner: Insano Flex
The Drew Brees Show V The Fighting Otters
The Drew Brees show is coming off a tough loss to their sibling last week. They score points with the best of them however and face an unimpressive 0-2 Otters team. I like the Brees Show to get back to their winning ways.
Winner: The Drew Brees Show
Montpelier Pink Baboonsies V Buddies Blankets
Buddies has out scored Robry but he’s also terrible.
Winner: Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
Da OX Raw Dopemen V Boston Beagles
The is the week Da Ox Raw finally gets a notch in the winning column. The Beagles are weak but coming off a win. Still, This shouldn’t be close.
Winner: Da Ox Raw Dopemen
Who Dey? All Day! V Touchdown My Pants
WDAD is coming off a brutal loss to Sunbury Bowls Bashers and is now 1-1. Touchdown hasn’t really played anyone but has put up some impressive numbers in the first two weeks. I would like Who Dey better if he kept Steve Smith instead of trading him for garbage.
Winner: Touchdown My Pants
Tiger Dogcats V Sunbury Bowl's Bashers
For the third week in a row Sunbury will face a terrible team. This might be the worst team in the league so the bashers should roll.
Winner: Sunbury Bowl's Bashers
Insano Flex V New York Conspiracy
Insano Flex has been perfect thus far and I don’t see that changing against NYC. If Chris Johnson goes off again it could be closer than some people think, however.
Winner: Insano Flex
The Drew Brees Show V The Fighting Otters
The Drew Brees show is coming off a tough loss to their sibling last week. They score points with the best of them however and face an unimpressive 0-2 Otters team. I like the Brees Show to get back to their winning ways.
Winner: The Drew Brees Show
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Matt Redd and Power Poll Week 2
Interview number two with this weeks guest, Matt Redd. If you would like to do an interview let me know and I can get some questions to you...
1. You were picked last in the preseason polls. How did that make you feel?
I don’t necessarily feel like that was right for you to think. I actually have a plan, and my players aren’t even bad. 3 of my WR’s are solid (Chad Ochocinco, Hines Ward, and Desean Jackson), I really like Ronnie Brown, and Mark Sanchez is proving he can win games and put up points (by throwing to my TE Dustin Keller). I don’t think that I am going to win this year, but I think I can be in the playoff hunt and certainly have a team for the future.
2. You have the same amount of Bengals (1) as you do Steelers on your team. Are you gay?
I am not gay, and it certainly isn’t my fault that I couldn’t get all the Bengals. Also, Hines Ward is solid, and with the weak schedule that the Steelers play, he is certainly worth having on my team (He averages over 1 touchdown a game vs. the Bengals and Browns)
3. What do you think of the league this year? Who are your favorites to win and who are the teams you think suck?
I really like the direction the league went in. I like the fact there are 4 divisions of 3 teams (12 teams is perfect for our setup). As far as my favorites go, it is hard to go against RoBry in the Mewtwo division and Bowl in the Smilax division. The other divisions are harder to predict, but I would go with Flex in the Jigglypuff division (seeing as how he has a 2 game lead over Connor), and honestly, I would have to go with the winner of Me and You in week 3 to win the Magneton division. Winning it all, I would have to go with Bowl this year. His team has it all!
4. Your team is ridiculously untalented outside of OchoCinco. How do you plan on compensating for that?
As I already answered a tad in question 1, I don’t think that my team is as untalented as everyone thinks they are. I have shown that the people I picked can score points and win games at the same time. My players have overall weak schedules, and that is why I picked them. And as Buddies knows, Peppers is good enough to win games by himself.
5. How much do you hate Buddies Blankets.
I don’t hate Buddies Blankets as much as I lead on. I just believe that you shouldn’t talk so much shit that you can’t back up. He already said he was going to win our division, but yet he is 0-2 and lost to both of us. Not going to happen this year Buddies, or any year for that matter the way you are going.
6. Laynce Nix and Adam Dunn walk into a bar and start drinking shots of Old Crow. Who passes out first?
I really think that it’s hard to bet against Adam Dunn. That man is all that is man, and there is no way he is going to lose any contest that involves drinking.
7. I see you have DT Jason Jones on your bench. Please describe the advantages of having a DT on your bench and explain how you had enough brain power to make it out of the third grade.
First of all, I barely made it out of the 3rd grade, and I don’t feel like I am alone by saying that. Second, the only reason I have Jason Jones and Seymour on my team was because Seymour didn’t report yet. I don’t have Jones on my team anymore because he did show up. You just looked at my team at the wrong time.
8. Mark Sanchez had a very nice start to his career. What do you see out of him this season?
Mark Sanchez has shone that he can get it done in the NFL. It certainly helps that his D gets it done on a regular basis too. He gets good field position and knows how to get to the end zone. I wanted to take him to have a QB for the future, and I got the job done there. He is going to have a great year, and should be a lock for Rookie of the Year.
9. It has been said (by your girlfriend) that you have Tig Ole Bittys. Explain.
It’s all about drinking all the time. That is mostly what it’s all about. Liquid Dope and constant Coors will do that to a man.
10. Multiple choice question. We are at a party. RoBry falls asleep at?
A. 5:30am
B. 3:00am
C. 11:00pm
D. Before anyone has even started drinking
I would have to certainly go with D on this one, and there isn’t anyone out there that would disagree. The Silverdome still doesn’t know what hit it, and it was one of the best nights that Rob ever slept through. My only problem with that was that I couldn’t find that damn White Castle.
11. Where do you finish in the league this year?
Honestly, I can see myself winning the division. I would give myself a 45% chance of winning it, giving you a 50% chance, and giving Buddies a 5% chance. If I don’t win the division, I see myself losing a tiebreaker to be just short of the playoffs just like last year. I won’t win it all, but I think my team is going in the right direction.
POWERPOLL WEEK 3
1. Sunbury Bowls Bashers (2)
After the week two battery of games Sunbury makes the jump from 2nd to 1st in the league. He’s had the two most consistent wins of any of the 2-0 teams and while the Bashers really haven’t played anyone they have put up points in bunches.
2. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies (1)
This team gets knocked down a spot in the power poll this week because of the unimpressive nature of their victories. Yes, they are 2-0 but they have put up only 300 points in those two wins. That’s good for 9th in the league and behind Buddies, gross. Oh, and Tony Romo just threw another interception.
3. Insano Flex (3)
Flex is starting to look like the real deal. They have scored the most points in the league and start four elite players. Trent Edwards has been money thus far. There are still questions with this team however and it wouldn’t surprise me to see them lay a dud every few weeks.
4. Touchdown My Pants (5)
This team has had a easy start to the season facing the Dogcats and the Buddies in back to back weeks. Luckily it stays relatively easy in week three with Who Dey? The addition of Carson Palmer could be a master stroke if he plays like he did last week for the whole year… except for the pick 6. They should be the favorites in the Magneton division.
5. The Drew Brees Show (4)
It’s starting to be seen that if a team has Drew Brees you can’t rank them very low. He puts up tons of points. While she lost to the then number one team in the league (and her brother) she still scored points kept it close until the end.
6. New York Conspiracy (10)
She had a hard luck loss in week one but pulled out a nice win in week two over the talented but seemingly lost OX Raw Dopemen. Personally, I think it’s bullshit that she got help from the commissioners last week just because she doesn’t have a computer. I know RoBry or Bowl wouldn’t give me a replacement for my starting QB if he was available and I was playing them. Whatever, she would have won anyway.
7. Da OX Raw Dopemen (6)
A loss to NYC isn’t too bad, she’s 4th in points scored! Right? Right?!?!?!
8. The Fighting Otters (9)
If you had drafted Dallas Clark over Byron Leftwich you would have won this week. Still I’m not real down on you because you scored some points. You could upset a team or two.
9. Who Dey? All Dey! (8)
WDAD ran into a buzz saw last week in Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers. They got trounced. The subject of this weeks Q&A thinks his team is pretty solid, but a bad loss is a bad loss. Gotta drop you a spot.
10. Boston Beagles (11)
Yeah, you won over a bad Dogcats team, but you still don’t score many points and that’s not a recipe for winning fantasy football.
11. Tiger Dogcats (10)
Yuck. 212 points in two weeks. Sickening. At least you’re not last.
12. Buddies Blankets (12)
Like the Sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Like the tides come up to the beach and recede back down to the depths. Like RoBry and Connor Miller scramble from their mothers basements to pick up players at 3am on a Tuesday morning; Buddies remains in last. I almost feel sorry for him… almost.
1. You were picked last in the preseason polls. How did that make you feel?
I don’t necessarily feel like that was right for you to think. I actually have a plan, and my players aren’t even bad. 3 of my WR’s are solid (Chad Ochocinco, Hines Ward, and Desean Jackson), I really like Ronnie Brown, and Mark Sanchez is proving he can win games and put up points (by throwing to my TE Dustin Keller). I don’t think that I am going to win this year, but I think I can be in the playoff hunt and certainly have a team for the future.
2. You have the same amount of Bengals (1) as you do Steelers on your team. Are you gay?
I am not gay, and it certainly isn’t my fault that I couldn’t get all the Bengals. Also, Hines Ward is solid, and with the weak schedule that the Steelers play, he is certainly worth having on my team (He averages over 1 touchdown a game vs. the Bengals and Browns)
3. What do you think of the league this year? Who are your favorites to win and who are the teams you think suck?
I really like the direction the league went in. I like the fact there are 4 divisions of 3 teams (12 teams is perfect for our setup). As far as my favorites go, it is hard to go against RoBry in the Mewtwo division and Bowl in the Smilax division. The other divisions are harder to predict, but I would go with Flex in the Jigglypuff division (seeing as how he has a 2 game lead over Connor), and honestly, I would have to go with the winner of Me and You in week 3 to win the Magneton division. Winning it all, I would have to go with Bowl this year. His team has it all!
4. Your team is ridiculously untalented outside of OchoCinco. How do you plan on compensating for that?
As I already answered a tad in question 1, I don’t think that my team is as untalented as everyone thinks they are. I have shown that the people I picked can score points and win games at the same time. My players have overall weak schedules, and that is why I picked them. And as Buddies knows, Peppers is good enough to win games by himself.
5. How much do you hate Buddies Blankets.
I don’t hate Buddies Blankets as much as I lead on. I just believe that you shouldn’t talk so much shit that you can’t back up. He already said he was going to win our division, but yet he is 0-2 and lost to both of us. Not going to happen this year Buddies, or any year for that matter the way you are going.
6. Laynce Nix and Adam Dunn walk into a bar and start drinking shots of Old Crow. Who passes out first?
I really think that it’s hard to bet against Adam Dunn. That man is all that is man, and there is no way he is going to lose any contest that involves drinking.
7. I see you have DT Jason Jones on your bench. Please describe the advantages of having a DT on your bench and explain how you had enough brain power to make it out of the third grade.
First of all, I barely made it out of the 3rd grade, and I don’t feel like I am alone by saying that. Second, the only reason I have Jason Jones and Seymour on my team was because Seymour didn’t report yet. I don’t have Jones on my team anymore because he did show up. You just looked at my team at the wrong time.
8. Mark Sanchez had a very nice start to his career. What do you see out of him this season?
Mark Sanchez has shone that he can get it done in the NFL. It certainly helps that his D gets it done on a regular basis too. He gets good field position and knows how to get to the end zone. I wanted to take him to have a QB for the future, and I got the job done there. He is going to have a great year, and should be a lock for Rookie of the Year.
9. It has been said (by your girlfriend) that you have Tig Ole Bittys. Explain.
It’s all about drinking all the time. That is mostly what it’s all about. Liquid Dope and constant Coors will do that to a man.
10. Multiple choice question. We are at a party. RoBry falls asleep at?
A. 5:30am
B. 3:00am
C. 11:00pm
D. Before anyone has even started drinking
I would have to certainly go with D on this one, and there isn’t anyone out there that would disagree. The Silverdome still doesn’t know what hit it, and it was one of the best nights that Rob ever slept through. My only problem with that was that I couldn’t find that damn White Castle.
11. Where do you finish in the league this year?
Honestly, I can see myself winning the division. I would give myself a 45% chance of winning it, giving you a 50% chance, and giving Buddies a 5% chance. If I don’t win the division, I see myself losing a tiebreaker to be just short of the playoffs just like last year. I won’t win it all, but I think my team is going in the right direction.
POWERPOLL WEEK 3
1. Sunbury Bowls Bashers (2)
After the week two battery of games Sunbury makes the jump from 2nd to 1st in the league. He’s had the two most consistent wins of any of the 2-0 teams and while the Bashers really haven’t played anyone they have put up points in bunches.
2. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies (1)
This team gets knocked down a spot in the power poll this week because of the unimpressive nature of their victories. Yes, they are 2-0 but they have put up only 300 points in those two wins. That’s good for 9th in the league and behind Buddies, gross. Oh, and Tony Romo just threw another interception.
3. Insano Flex (3)
Flex is starting to look like the real deal. They have scored the most points in the league and start four elite players. Trent Edwards has been money thus far. There are still questions with this team however and it wouldn’t surprise me to see them lay a dud every few weeks.
4. Touchdown My Pants (5)
This team has had a easy start to the season facing the Dogcats and the Buddies in back to back weeks. Luckily it stays relatively easy in week three with Who Dey? The addition of Carson Palmer could be a master stroke if he plays like he did last week for the whole year… except for the pick 6. They should be the favorites in the Magneton division.
5. The Drew Brees Show (4)
It’s starting to be seen that if a team has Drew Brees you can’t rank them very low. He puts up tons of points. While she lost to the then number one team in the league (and her brother) she still scored points kept it close until the end.
6. New York Conspiracy (10)
She had a hard luck loss in week one but pulled out a nice win in week two over the talented but seemingly lost OX Raw Dopemen. Personally, I think it’s bullshit that she got help from the commissioners last week just because she doesn’t have a computer. I know RoBry or Bowl wouldn’t give me a replacement for my starting QB if he was available and I was playing them. Whatever, she would have won anyway.
7. Da OX Raw Dopemen (6)
A loss to NYC isn’t too bad, she’s 4th in points scored! Right? Right?!?!?!
8. The Fighting Otters (9)
If you had drafted Dallas Clark over Byron Leftwich you would have won this week. Still I’m not real down on you because you scored some points. You could upset a team or two.
9. Who Dey? All Dey! (8)
WDAD ran into a buzz saw last week in Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers. They got trounced. The subject of this weeks Q&A thinks his team is pretty solid, but a bad loss is a bad loss. Gotta drop you a spot.
10. Boston Beagles (11)
Yeah, you won over a bad Dogcats team, but you still don’t score many points and that’s not a recipe for winning fantasy football.
11. Tiger Dogcats (10)
Yuck. 212 points in two weeks. Sickening. At least you’re not last.
12. Buddies Blankets (12)
Like the Sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Like the tides come up to the beach and recede back down to the depths. Like RoBry and Connor Miller scramble from their mothers basements to pick up players at 3am on a Tuesday morning; Buddies remains in last. I almost feel sorry for him… almost.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Week Two Picks
With week two on the horizon I will look to continue my fantasy pick dominance. I was 5-1 last week and would have been 6-0 if Da OX Raw didn’t shit the bed and get absolutely pwned by Insano Flex. Just goes to show, you should never agree with Buddies on anything. Anyway… PICKS!
Montpelier Pink Baboonsies V The Drew Brees Show (Best Matchup)
Sibling rivalry at it’s best. Both teams come off of wins where they simply out classed their opponents. This is a really close match up. Both teams were carried to victory by outstanding performances by their #1 Qb’s. I could see this going either way but I am going to step out on a limb and say that Brees edges out this match up.
Winner: The Drew Brees Show… by a hair.
Boston Beagles V Tiger DogCats (Most Boring anything)
Tied for second in the Snorlax division, this is an important game for both of these 0-1 teams. Despite the inter-conference impact, this game just feels boring. Both teams are relatively inactive and had a rough go of it in week one. Beagles has the better QB’s but DogCats has a slight edge in the skill positions.
Winner: Boston Beagles
Da OX Raw Dopemen V New York Conspiracy
Don’t look know but despite losing last week to The Drew Brees Show the New York Conspiracy really put up solid numbers last week. They are facing the preseason darlings in the Da OX Raw Dopemen who let down the world last week. Still I on talent alone, I gotta go Dopemen.
Winner: Da OX Raw Dopemen
Buddies' Blankets V Touchdown My Pants
Buddies will be trying to come off of an embarrassing loss to the last ranked team in the league, while Touchdown looks to continue it’s success. Having already won a trade this week (he got Carson Palmer, clearly the best QB in Santa Margarita Catholic High School history) Touchdown seems to have the advantage here. Still something doesn’t feel right. Buddies pulls the upset.
Winner: Buddies Blankets
Insano Flex V The Fighting Otters
Insano Flex had the most impressive win in the league last week and I see them continuing on that success against the Fighting Leftwich.
Winner: Insano Flex
Who Dey? All Day! V Sunbury Bowl's Bashers (Worst Matchup)
After a nice victory over Buddies last week, Who Dey meets a buzz saw in the number two ranked team in the league. The Bashers won over an inferior opponent last week and I see them doing it again this week.
Winner: Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers.
Montpelier Pink Baboonsies V The Drew Brees Show (Best Matchup)
Sibling rivalry at it’s best. Both teams come off of wins where they simply out classed their opponents. This is a really close match up. Both teams were carried to victory by outstanding performances by their #1 Qb’s. I could see this going either way but I am going to step out on a limb and say that Brees edges out this match up.
Winner: The Drew Brees Show… by a hair.
Boston Beagles V Tiger DogCats (Most Boring anything)
Tied for second in the Snorlax division, this is an important game for both of these 0-1 teams. Despite the inter-conference impact, this game just feels boring. Both teams are relatively inactive and had a rough go of it in week one. Beagles has the better QB’s but DogCats has a slight edge in the skill positions.
Winner: Boston Beagles
Da OX Raw Dopemen V New York Conspiracy
Don’t look know but despite losing last week to The Drew Brees Show the New York Conspiracy really put up solid numbers last week. They are facing the preseason darlings in the Da OX Raw Dopemen who let down the world last week. Still I on talent alone, I gotta go Dopemen.
Winner: Da OX Raw Dopemen
Buddies' Blankets V Touchdown My Pants
Buddies will be trying to come off of an embarrassing loss to the last ranked team in the league, while Touchdown looks to continue it’s success. Having already won a trade this week (he got Carson Palmer, clearly the best QB in Santa Margarita Catholic High School history) Touchdown seems to have the advantage here. Still something doesn’t feel right. Buddies pulls the upset.
Winner: Buddies Blankets
Insano Flex V The Fighting Otters
Insano Flex had the most impressive win in the league last week and I see them continuing on that success against the Fighting Leftwich.
Winner: Insano Flex
Who Dey? All Day! V Sunbury Bowl's Bashers (Worst Matchup)
After a nice victory over Buddies last week, Who Dey meets a buzz saw in the number two ranked team in the league. The Bashers won over an inferior opponent last week and I see them doing it again this week.
Winner: Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Week One Power Poll
From The Dopemen being butt fucked up and down the field by Insano Flex to the Baboonsies reestablising their greatness and the lowest ranked team pulling off an inter-conferance upset an Week One in the RFL has come to a close and it's time to update the power poll. 
1. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies (2)
Well this is a familiar thing, huh? RoBry back on top. With a solid win over The Fighting Otters, Robry jumps back to the top of the league and doesn't look to have any weaknesses. Romo, MJD, and Roy Williams looks strong and the team looks to have room for improvement. Why do all of you worthless fuckers let him get away with this?
2. Sunbury Bowls Bashers (4)
The Bashers crushed the Beagles this week is an outcome that was completely expected. Led by Matt Ryan, Reggie Wayne and Santonio Holmes on offense they put up the third most points of any team this week. The number two spot is deserved.
3. Insano Flex (8)
Mad respect to this team as it jumps from eighth to third. They absolutely killed the preseason number one in the Dopemen and didn't even look back. Like a I said in my first power poll, this team has some elite players and when they are playing well Flex looks to be pretty tough.
4. The Drew Brees Show (7)
After a hot and heavy all female xxx battle with New York Conspiracy, the Drew Brees Show jumps up three spots to number four. They scored more than all but one team and they have the best QB in the game. Plus, they won the title in the female division. YAY!
1. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies (2)
Well this is a familiar thing, huh? RoBry back on top. With a solid win over The Fighting Otters, Robry jumps back to the top of the league and doesn't look to have any weaknesses. Romo, MJD, and Roy Williams looks strong and the team looks to have room for improvement. Why do all of you worthless fuckers let him get away with this?
2. Sunbury Bowls Bashers (4)
The Bashers crushed the Beagles this week is an outcome that was completely expected. Led by Matt Ryan, Reggie Wayne and Santonio Holmes on offense they put up the third most points of any team this week. The number two spot is deserved.
3. Insano Flex (8)
Mad respect to this team as it jumps from eighth to third. They absolutely killed the preseason number one in the Dopemen and didn't even look back. Like a I said in my first power poll, this team has some elite players and when they are playing well Flex looks to be pretty tough.
4. The Drew Brees Show (7)
After a hot and heavy all female xxx battle with New York Conspiracy, the Drew Brees Show jumps up three spots to number four. They scored more than all but one team and they have the best QB in the game. Plus, they won the title in the female division. YAY!
5. Touchdown My Pants (6)
Without much fanfare or style this team just plain put up points last week. They beat the preseason number three team very handily and showed that with improvement from some key positions they can compete in this league.
Ewww. You scored fewer points than any other team. You didn't start a defensive end, corner, or punter. Anthony Gonzalez is now hurt. I had great faith in you to be a top notch team in this league. You have not lived up to your end of the bargain. You're lucky to be ranked this high for making me look bad. Asshole.
7. Tiger Dog Cats (3)
The team looks nice on paper but they just didn't get it done on the field. I see better things coming for them in the future but LT is hurt, Heyward Bey looked bad, and the defense is pretty suspect. I see a middle of the pack team.
8. Who Dey? All Dey! (12)
Congrats! You beat Kevin in fantasy football. That's like beating Zach in a drinking contest. Still a nice win gets you a jump in the rankings. Keep it up Dunners.
9. The Fighting Otters (5)
How's Leftwich look now? Bitch.
10. New York Conspiracy (11)
Lost to another girl but put up some serious points. McNabb going down doesn't help you, and neither does being related to Kevin. I still think your team is pretty ok. You could bounce back and do some damage.
11. Boston Beagles. (10)
I pretty much knew this would happen. A team without an owner loses to one of the better owners in the league. Get involved, mix it up! Don’t let Kevin pass you!
12. Buddies Blankets (9)
I knew I was being generous when I ranked you number nine, but Rob was all like “dude, he has an ok team.” Man was he wrong. That being said you did score some points and will probably beat me this week because of all the shit I am talking. I might keep you here though. Just because you deserve it.
There’s the power poll. The picks for next week will probably come out on Friday or Saturday. I was 5-1 last week so pay attention and you’ll probably know if you are going to win or lose. I am still trying to get some questions together for Matt Redd. I suck at doing things though so whatever.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Week 1 Picks
I figured the start of the season was tonight so I better get some week one picks in, so lets jump right to it.
Sunbury Bowl's Bashers v Boston Beagles
This could actually be a pretty intriguing match up. The Beagles have two top flight quarterbacks in Warner and Rodgers and their wide outs aren't terrible. However they face a team that is pretty damn tough once you look past the QBs. The WRs are four deep and Steven Jackson is a premier fantasy back, something the Beagles lack.
Winner: Sunbury Bowl's Bashers
Insano Flex v Da Ox Raw Dopeman - LEAST INTRIGUING MATCH UP
I can pretty much guarantee that Da Ox will come out of this week 1-0. They far and away out class Insano Flex at nearly every position. Insano Flex might have an advantage at TE, but that aint enough to win
Winner: Da Ox in a landslide
Who Dey? All Day! v Buddies Blankets
In a Magneton inter-conference battle, we see two of the less competent teams match up. Who Dey?'s line up is probably the worst in the league (see preseason power poll) and Buddies doesn't know how to pick up a free agent without immediately dropping him for another one. Still something about this match up makes me thinks the underdog will pull it out. I got Who Dey?
Winner: Who Dey? All Day! (I hate you so much Buddies)
The Fighting Otters v Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
This is a rather close match up in my undisputed opinion. The Otters are better overall at QB and RB, and close to equal at wide out. That being said, it's hard to pick against the defending champ in week one. While I think RoBry is balls as a human being, he can play some fantasy.
Winner: YOURTEAMNAMEISFUCKINGGAY
Maggie Roush v Kahle Bryant
It's two girls playing fantasy football... Hmmmm. Maggie got up from her chair and walked behind Kahle's chair, sliding her hands down Kahle's shirt and cupping the over stuffed breast that was still heaving from the tirade! "Let me help you relax, boss," offered Maggie! As many times as she had held them, Maggie was still mesmerized by the heft and firmness of such a large bust, and under her expert hand, the already hard nipples strained even harder to poke through the thin cloth..... Uhhhh. yeah. Fun stuff.
Winner: Kahle Bryant
Sunbury Bowl's Bashers v Boston Beagles
This could actually be a pretty intriguing match up. The Beagles have two top flight quarterbacks in Warner and Rodgers and their wide outs aren't terrible. However they face a team that is pretty damn tough once you look past the QBs. The WRs are four deep and Steven Jackson is a premier fantasy back, something the Beagles lack.
Winner: Sunbury Bowl's Bashers
Insano Flex v Da Ox Raw Dopeman - LEAST INTRIGUING MATCH UP
I can pretty much guarantee that Da Ox will come out of this week 1-0. They far and away out class Insano Flex at nearly every position. Insano Flex might have an advantage at TE, but that aint enough to win
Winner: Da Ox in a landslide
Who Dey? All Day! v Buddies Blankets
In a Magneton inter-conference battle, we see two of the less competent teams match up. Who Dey?'s line up is probably the worst in the league (see preseason power poll) and Buddies doesn't know how to pick up a free agent without immediately dropping him for another one. Still something about this match up makes me thinks the underdog will pull it out. I got Who Dey?
Winner: Who Dey? All Day! (I hate you so much Buddies)
The Fighting Otters v Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
This is a rather close match up in my undisputed opinion. The Otters are better overall at QB and RB, and close to equal at wide out. That being said, it's hard to pick against the defending champ in week one. While I think RoBry is balls as a human being, he can play some fantasy.
Winner: YOURTEAMNAMEISFUCKINGGAY
Maggie Roush v Kahle Bryant
It's two girls playing fantasy football... Hmmmm. Maggie got up from her chair and walked behind Kahle's chair, sliding her hands down Kahle's shirt and cupping the over stuffed breast that was still heaving from the tirade! "Let me help you relax, boss," offered Maggie! As many times as she had held them, Maggie was still mesmerized by the heft and firmness of such a large bust, and under her expert hand, the already hard nipples strained even harder to poke through the thin cloth..... Uhhhh. yeah. Fun stuff.
Winner: Kahle Bryant
Tiger DogCats v Touchdown My Pants - MOST INTRIGING MATCH UP
This is the closest match up of week one. Both teams QBs are mediocre but, the DogCats have above average RBs and solid WRs. While My Pants features one top 5 running back and a very good receiving group. I think the match ups make the difference in this game and My Pants seems to have better ones on paper, despite the fact that he has to start LJ against Baltimore.
Winner: Touchdown My Pants (im fucked)
So there are the week one picks. Sorry for the lack of activity on the blog. I just moved and have real things going on in my life. I'll try and get my questions typed up for the next interview this weekend and hopefully we can get going. As always if you would like to post anything hit me up and I can put it on here. Peace
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Mocking the Draft
Well the draft picks are in and the Robry football League season is about to begin. In this edition of the RFLPG we’ll take a close look at the draft and see who came out on top and who sucked balls.
Obviously there is one pick that stood out from all the rest and rather than cover it specifically in this edition I am just going to show you what was written about it in a nationally respected newspaper.
Obviously taking Leftwich that early was the worst draft selection in the history of time. Even if Leftwich throws for 10,000 yards and one million touchdowns this year that move still blows big dick. On to the picks.
Best Picks
Kahle Bryant - Ryan Grant
I love this pick even though Kahle let the computer make it for her. Grant plays in a nice offense, behind a good offensive line and has put up solid seasons the last few years. Look for him to improve on his sub 4.0 YPC this year and be a fantasy stud for Kahle.
Da Ox Raw Dopemen - Anthony Gonzalez
I am a big fan of Gonzalez this year and word is he was almost taken number one overall in the draft. In the Colts offense he should really be outstanding.
Touchdown My Pants - Larry Johnson
Back in the good graces of his team and coaches and still the holder of immense talent LJ is poised to have a great year. Could yield outstanding value for a 7th round pick.
Buddies Blankets - Shaun Hill
Buddies finally made a good move with the selection of Shaun Hill. The former Maryland product has been named the starter and is surrounded by an ok group of talent.
Montpelier Pink Baboonsies - Shawne Marriman and Mario Williams
To get this kind of talent in the 13th round is pretty outstanding. Granted they are defensive players and not DeMarcus Ware, but pretty good.
Other picks of note: Ray Rice (rd 9) Chad Pennington (rd 8) Chris Cooley (rd 9) Chris Henry (rd 14) Nate Burleson (rd 14)
Worst Picks (Other than Leftwich)
Boston Beagles - Brandon Marshall, Willie Parker
Marshall is exceptionally talented but he has the attitude problems of sexually abused teen, Kyle Orton as hit quarterback, and a coaching staff that thinks he is garbage. Bad pick in the 6th. Parker just sucks.
Buddies Blankets - Marshawn Lynch
He’s suspended to start the year, and there was comparable talent available. Ugly. I know you have Jackson but it's still ugly.
Who Dey? All Dey! - Hines Ward
You reach for a old receiver when there is better talent on the board at the same position? Plus I thought you were a Bengals fan?
Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers - Cedric Benson, Knowshon Moreno, Ahmad Bradshaw
Why? Benson is not good at all and he plays behind a terrible O-line. You then went on to take two more running backs in the 8th round. You’re not building a pitching rotation we start two running backs. You took four rather unimpressive Rbs in the first three rounds.
Insano Flex - Chester Taylor
Your first pick of the draft, and you use it on Chester Taylor? You currently start both Adrian Peterson and Taylor. You do realize that every time Peterson carries the ball the likelihood of Taylor carrying the ball decreases by 100%. Also with Favre in town they won’t be splitting the same amount of carries.
Other crappy picks of note: Miles Austin (Rd 12) D’Qwell Jackson (Rd 13) Steven Gostkowski (Rd 14) Jerod Mayo (Rd 15)
PRESEASON POWER POLL
1. Da Ox Raw Dopemen
Two top of the line QBs, 3 sick Rbs, 4 nice WRs and a top 5 TE. The offense is there and the defense has the ability to be solid. This team is defiantly the class of his division and possibly the class of the league.
2. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
The returning champs have put together a very impressive team. That is above average in just about every aspect. Pierre Thomas is much better than Reggie Bush but you can’t really argue with the recent fantasy results.
3. Tiger Dogcats
For some reason I always think this team is poop, but looking at the players it is actually pretty well put together. Westbrook and LT have their issues but are talented. The WRs are very well suited for the PPR format and the defense is well built. Respect.
4. Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers
The QBs both have questions and the running back situation is questionable with Jackson’s constant health issues but you can’t argue with the wide receivers. Probably the best group of them in the league.
5. The Fighting Otters
You team is nice but you took Leftwich. Kill yourself.
6. Touchdown My Pants
Pretty terrible QBs, but a nice trio of RBs and a solid core of receivers with Andre Johnson and Vincent Jackson leading the charge. This team will need some luck to compete with the big boys.
7. Kahle Bryant
With a nice creative team name this team is pretty solid. Very good QBs when healthy and two nice top wideouts. The backs are very steady. She loses points for being Robs sister and a girl.
8. Insano Flex
This team has four of the best players in the league and not much else. Peterson, Manning, Gonzalez and Fitz are great and really elevate this team. The rest of the team however is straight garbage.
9. Buddies Blankets
This team is Insano Flex light. They have four real good players in Cutler, Forte, White, and Witten but the rest of the team is dirt.
10. Boston Beagles
The QBs are full of awesome but everyone else, not so much. Parker and Smith are below average fantasy backs, and the wide outs don’t impress. Plus I still don’t think this team has an owner.
11. Maggie Roush
I look at this team and I don’t see a whole lot. McNabb and Garrard are older and have issues. Thomas Jones is splitting carries with two other backs. Housh and Jennings are both good WRs. Again it’s a girl and team sucks.
12. Who dey? All Dey!
Seriously. The best player on your team is a guy that Ochocinco. Don’t get me wrong. I love Ocho, but he can’t be your best player. You make me want to puke.
Well that's it for this time out. Next edition will have previews of the upcoming matchups and possibly an interview with another owner.
Obviously there is one pick that stood out from all the rest and rather than cover it specifically in this edition I am just going to show you what was written about it in a nationally respected newspaper.
Obviously taking Leftwich that early was the worst draft selection in the history of time. Even if Leftwich throws for 10,000 yards and one million touchdowns this year that move still blows big dick. On to the picks.
Best Picks
Kahle Bryant - Ryan Grant
I love this pick even though Kahle let the computer make it for her. Grant plays in a nice offense, behind a good offensive line and has put up solid seasons the last few years. Look for him to improve on his sub 4.0 YPC this year and be a fantasy stud for Kahle.
Da Ox Raw Dopemen - Anthony Gonzalez
I am a big fan of Gonzalez this year and word is he was almost taken number one overall in the draft. In the Colts offense he should really be outstanding.
Touchdown My Pants - Larry Johnson
Back in the good graces of his team and coaches and still the holder of immense talent LJ is poised to have a great year. Could yield outstanding value for a 7th round pick.
Buddies Blankets - Shaun Hill
Buddies finally made a good move with the selection of Shaun Hill. The former Maryland product has been named the starter and is surrounded by an ok group of talent.
Montpelier Pink Baboonsies - Shawne Marriman and Mario Williams
To get this kind of talent in the 13th round is pretty outstanding. Granted they are defensive players and not DeMarcus Ware, but pretty good.
Other picks of note: Ray Rice (rd 9) Chad Pennington (rd 8) Chris Cooley (rd 9) Chris Henry (rd 14) Nate Burleson (rd 14)
Worst Picks (Other than Leftwich)
Boston Beagles - Brandon Marshall, Willie Parker
Marshall is exceptionally talented but he has the attitude problems of sexually abused teen, Kyle Orton as hit quarterback, and a coaching staff that thinks he is garbage. Bad pick in the 6th. Parker just sucks.
Buddies Blankets - Marshawn Lynch
He’s suspended to start the year, and there was comparable talent available. Ugly. I know you have Jackson but it's still ugly.
Who Dey? All Dey! - Hines Ward
You reach for a old receiver when there is better talent on the board at the same position? Plus I thought you were a Bengals fan?
Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers - Cedric Benson, Knowshon Moreno, Ahmad Bradshaw
Why? Benson is not good at all and he plays behind a terrible O-line. You then went on to take two more running backs in the 8th round. You’re not building a pitching rotation we start two running backs. You took four rather unimpressive Rbs in the first three rounds.
Insano Flex - Chester Taylor
Your first pick of the draft, and you use it on Chester Taylor? You currently start both Adrian Peterson and Taylor. You do realize that every time Peterson carries the ball the likelihood of Taylor carrying the ball decreases by 100%. Also with Favre in town they won’t be splitting the same amount of carries.
Other crappy picks of note: Miles Austin (Rd 12) D’Qwell Jackson (Rd 13) Steven Gostkowski (Rd 14) Jerod Mayo (Rd 15)
PRESEASON POWER POLL
1. Da Ox Raw Dopemen
Two top of the line QBs, 3 sick Rbs, 4 nice WRs and a top 5 TE. The offense is there and the defense has the ability to be solid. This team is defiantly the class of his division and possibly the class of the league.
2. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
The returning champs have put together a very impressive team. That is above average in just about every aspect. Pierre Thomas is much better than Reggie Bush but you can’t really argue with the recent fantasy results.
3. Tiger Dogcats
For some reason I always think this team is poop, but looking at the players it is actually pretty well put together. Westbrook and LT have their issues but are talented. The WRs are very well suited for the PPR format and the defense is well built. Respect.
4. Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers
The QBs both have questions and the running back situation is questionable with Jackson’s constant health issues but you can’t argue with the wide receivers. Probably the best group of them in the league.
5. The Fighting Otters
You team is nice but you took Leftwich. Kill yourself.
6. Touchdown My Pants
Pretty terrible QBs, but a nice trio of RBs and a solid core of receivers with Andre Johnson and Vincent Jackson leading the charge. This team will need some luck to compete with the big boys.
7. Kahle Bryant
With a nice creative team name this team is pretty solid. Very good QBs when healthy and two nice top wideouts. The backs are very steady. She loses points for being Robs sister and a girl.
8. Insano Flex
This team has four of the best players in the league and not much else. Peterson, Manning, Gonzalez and Fitz are great and really elevate this team. The rest of the team however is straight garbage.
9. Buddies Blankets
This team is Insano Flex light. They have four real good players in Cutler, Forte, White, and Witten but the rest of the team is dirt.
10. Boston Beagles
The QBs are full of awesome but everyone else, not so much. Parker and Smith are below average fantasy backs, and the wide outs don’t impress. Plus I still don’t think this team has an owner.
11. Maggie Roush
I look at this team and I don’t see a whole lot. McNabb and Garrard are older and have issues. Thomas Jones is splitting carries with two other backs. Housh and Jennings are both good WRs. Again it’s a girl and team sucks.
12. Who dey? All Dey!
Seriously. The best player on your team is a guy that Ochocinco. Don’t get me wrong. I love Ocho, but he can’t be your best player. You make me want to puke.
Well that's it for this time out. Next edition will have previews of the upcoming matchups and possibly an interview with another owner.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Conversing with Kevin
With the RFL Draft set to occur this Thursday, the RFLPG sat down with the owner/general manager of Buddies Blankets. This is the first interview for the RFLPG but the hope is that it will become a frequent occurrence in order to get feedback and opinions from the leagues owners.
RFLPG - Let’s start this off with the most obvious question. Do you know what the word trade means? And if so, how do you allow yourself to continue to make trades when it has been painfully obvious that you come out on the losing end every time?
Kevin Roush - The trade to which I assume you are referring is the trading of the 22nd pick to the DogCats for nothing. It was pure and simple a cost-cutting move. The Blankets play in a small market and we have to save where we can. Our organization did not think we could get a difference maker in round 22 so we figured we might as well sell it for some cap relief.
RFLPG - What do you think about the Magneton division? Can your team win it? Why on earth would you think it could?
KR - The Magneton Division seems to me to resemble the AL Central this year, in that there is no dominant team and it is very up for grabs. There is still a lot to be determined with who comes out on top after the draft, but the one thing that is for sure is that Who Dey? All Day! is an automatic win for everyone.
RFLPG - Besides your team, what other teams in the league do you think will have success this year?
KR - The pundits will talk about the defending champion Baboonzies and the gaudy amount of draft picks possessed by Sunbury Bowl's Bashers, but the team I'm looking at to excel this season is the Dopemen. Connor Miller consistently drafts and signs free agents better than any other team and I sincerely believe that he would have won the league last year had it not been for the unfortunate injury to franchise quarterback, Tom Brady, last season.
RFLPG - You recently responded to an article on the RFLPG in defense of your sister but did not offer a defense for the things said about you and your team. Does that mean you agree with the RFLPG article?
KR - To clarify, the advice I gave Maggie was to trade with Matt Redd and Shawn as much as possible (Shawn had been on a trade-accepting spree during that time period). Unfortunately, she misused that advice. This problem will not occur again.
But to answer your question, I am not in the business of defending my own moves. I let my team answer all your questions on the field.
RFLPG - Do you have any specific strategy or plans for the upcoming draft? Besides sucking of course.
KR - The guy I'm really looking "hard" at is Visanthe Shiancoe. I always draft on penis size and whether or not I have seen a player's penis. It's just good business.
RFLPG - Week one you’re matched up against the Montpgetafuckingshorternameassholes. How do you think your team will match up? What do you think about Robry and his defense of the league title?
KR - The Montpeliar Pink Baboonzies are going to be a tough team with which to begin the season. It's still unclear how these teams will match up given that the rosters are incomplete.
However, to answer your question about RoBry's chances to a three-peat, I have to say the cards are stacked against him. Although he has a good draft, it isn't the best, and his keepers, I believe, hold great risks. Romo and Roy Williams have not looked to be on the same page since Williams joined the Cowboys. T.O. is old and on a poor offensive team with a poor quarterback in a cold city. Reggie Bush isn't even a starting running back and is also injury prone...there are just too many questions. To win the league again this year would take a Herculean performance by his defense, also known as "pure luck." You can't count out the Baboonzies...after all, that is how they won it all last season.
RFLPG - Lets say we both work at Panera. I am training you on the sandwich line and we need lettuce to be stocked up. I ask you to go to the back to get some. What would you bring me? 
KR - I'd probably sleep walk into the refrigerator and get the greenest thing I can find...NO MATTER WHAT.
RFLPG - Give me your picks for the leagues division winners and who will make it to the RFL championship this year.
KR - In the Mewtwo Division, I can't go against the Baboonzies. Kahle has the strongest keepers, but you have to assume that the owner of Montpelier is going to rob his family blind of their assets and will somehow pull out the Mewtwo Division.
The Snorlax Division belongs to the Bashers. It's named after him for Christ's sake.
Maggie and Insano Flex go into this season with confidence, but Da OX Raw Dopemen are just too good of an organization to not win their division. Write that one down in pen.
As far as the Magneton Division is concerned, I have to have confidence in myself and go with the Blankets.Assuming the top of the league is one conference and the bottom is another, I see the Dopemen knocking off the Bashers in the RFL Championship.
RFLPG - What two teams do you think will make it to the Superbowl in the NFL?
KR - I'm not really sure what the NFL is, I'm guessing it's some kind of RFL farm system type thing. But just off the top of my head, I'm going to say The Eagles over the Patriots.
RFLPG - If you’re Magneton, what would you do to defeat my Dugtrio?
KR - Well this is a tough one. First, I would probably put up a Light Screen to limit your special advantage. Next, I probably use something like Supersonic to confuse you. For the rest of the time, I would just use Tackle and keep you confused until you fainted. Frankly, that is just not a good matchup for me.
RFLPG - Do you have any closing remarks? Would you like to call anyone out?
KR - Yes, I would like to call out John Glenn. Suck my bahhls you rotten motherfucker!!!
I would also like to call out Maggie but I'll wait to do that during my toast at her wedding which will be 100% devoted to talking shit about her team.
I would also like to call out Kahle for no reason. Come get some!
Thanks for havin' me on the show, Jeff.
Well that's all for this edition. Look back after the draft for a review and a preseason power poll.
EDIT: It has come to my attention that Blankets does not play Baboons week one. I just looked at the thing that said Roush at Bryant. That is actually Maggie at Kahle. Girls... CHANGE YOUR NAMES!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Jesus Loves Fantasy Football
Jesus Said it best...
"Football is not a game but a religion, a metaphysical island of fundamental truth in a highly verbalized, disguised society, a throwback of 30,000 generations of anthropological time"
If football is a religion then fantasy football team owners are the congregation, and with the start of August and the end of baseball season (in Ohio) church is about to be back in session. For the past couple of weeks the RFL has been bustling with activity; expansion drafts, keeper decisions, trades, and general gayness from Rob, but the holiest time of the fantasy football year is still to come with the draft, the games, more gay stuff from Rob, and whatever else is thrown our way. Luckily the RFLPG will be here to cover it all in the most biased and poorly written way possible.
Bowls dominated the draft pick trading and now boasts 8 overall picks between rounds 6-9. Add to that the fact that keeps two top wide outs, two above average quarterbacks, and a top eight running back when healthy, and you‘re looking at a team that has put itself in an excellent position going forward. To everyone who traded their sixth round picks to Bowl - You disgust me.
In this edition of the RFLPG I will take a look at who were the winners and losers in the pre-keeper trading period and what was the most interesting move out of all of the trades.
Before I do that however, what I would really like to take a second to focus on is something that was so ridiculous that it stuck out to me among the flurry of moves that have occurred over the last few weeks. No, not my awesome attempt to grab Dwayne Bowe and Clinton Portis during some bitches turn during the expansion draft.(fuck you bowl for catching that) But something that I really think should bring into question the place that this member has in the RFL and as a citizen of the United States. I think this photo clearly demonstrates the absurdity of what happened
I mean what the fuck, Buddies what are you thinking? Do you know the meaning of the word trade? Generally what a trade would be is one team giving up a thing of value to another team, who in return sends something of value back to the first team. I don’t know if you don’t like draft picks or if you are just an idiot Based on my past experience with you I am going to go with the latter. If this is the kind of shit that can be expected out of you Kevin, then I only have one thing to say… Thank god you are in my division.
Now on to some real shit.
KEEPER PERIOD WINNERS, LOSERS, and TIE(ERS)
In no real order:
Winners
Sunbury Bowls Bashers
Bowls dominated the draft pick trading and now boasts 8 overall picks between rounds 6-9. Add to that the fact that keeps two top wide outs, two above average quarterbacks, and a top eight running back when healthy, and you‘re looking at a team that has put itself in an excellent position going forward. To everyone who traded their sixth round picks to Bowl - You disgust me.
Da Ox Raw Dopemen
This is close to the most impressive group of keepers in Schaub, Brady, Barber, Slaton, and Colston and they have seven picks within rounds 6-9. While not as top heavy in the draft as the Bashers above they still are in an extremely strong position going forward and should have a really nice draft.
The Fighting Otters
The Fighting Otters boasts a very strong set of keepers with a top three of Rivers, Boldin, and Turner. Gore is nice too but is coming off a down year. They didn't make many moves to improve their chances in the draft and that could be something that ends up biting them down the road.
Montpelier Pink Baboonsies
The returning champion, Rob Bryant (Pictured left) makes the list of winners but barely. MJD is nice. However Romo has lost both TO and Jessica Simpson (although Roy Williams should be able to replace TO’s production on the field while Jason Witten replaces Jessica’s production off the field) and he is just no sure thing to be great. Add to that an average job at making trades for picks, with only four picks in the first four rounds, and this team will hopefully be hard pressed to win another title.
TIE(ERS)
Touchdown My Pants
Dominated the expansion draft by picking out of turn but ended up with an average bunch of keepers and a slightly above average set of draft picks. nothing to be too excited about but the team is not terrible either. The trade of Adrian Peterson was bold but questionable. Will need a strong draft but should be competitive in the Magneton Division.
Insano Flex
This team a pretty nice set of keepers in P. Manning, Peterson, and Fitzgerald but what the fuck man? No draft picks in rounds 6-9? Yeah you have good top of the line players but you know you're going to be filling some of your starter spots with Matt Slater and Skyler Green, both of whom averaged less than zero points per game last year.
Tiger Dogcats
Westbrook and Tomlinson form a pretty good backfield combo but Steve Smith is hurt and Eddie Royal has Orton throwing him the ball. Slightly Above average keepers and below average draft. This team bores me.
Losers (Pictured Right)Buddies Blankets
You suck and I hate you. If you had that 22nd pick that you gave away you would be in the winners category. In all seriousness though. Fuck you.Who Dey? All Day!
The keepers are poor in Hasselbeck, Ronnie Brown, Jacobs, Jackson and 8-5. None of them are in the top ten at their positions. The draft is pretty god damn awful. I’m glad you’re in my division as well and I look forward to seeing you lose on a weekly basis.
Girls
You’re girls, gross. Shouldn’t you be getting your hair done or stripping? You did solid in the expansion draft but I have to guess that was with the help of men. Kahle gets the nod in this matchup because she didn't trade away draft picks. I have to guess that Maggie (or her idiot brother) didn't know we only had five keepers so she made a retarded trade.Boston Beagles
I am not convinced that this team actually has an owner. It does have two great Qbs and Wes Welker but I doubt they show up to the draft because they haven’t shown up in any fashion thus far. If that changes they might get some respect.
Most Interesting Move
Has to be Adrian Peterson for Andre Johnson. Usually in fantasy football top running backs are gold but one can’t forget that Andre Johnson out paced Peterson in PPG in points per reception leagues last year (which this league is) and with Peterson’s potential for injury it could work out. That being said AP is a yards and touchdowns monster who could make me get drunk on multiple Sundays if he has another outstanding year.Least Interesting Move
Once again Kevin shows his stupid self, but this time Rob is involved. An 18th for two 18ths? Seriously, you guys are really pissing me off. Rob your trade block said you wanted picks but I didn’t know that meant basically worthless picks. Jesus.
Well that’s about all I got for this edition. I didn’t do a power poll because it would largely be a repeat of what was written above. I’ll try and post some kind of draft preview before August 20th but this stuff isn’t that easy to write. Feel free to comment here or on the message board and if you are interested writing something for the blog send me an email with your contribution at
Jeffery.j.Schmidt@gmail.com. Try and make it something that involves commentary on the league and more than just a bash of every other team.Until Then Peace.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Welcome
Hi, hello, and welcome to the very first edition of the RFL Post Gazette, the most comprehensive form of coverage of the RoBry Football League.
You may be asking yourself "who is this fucking guy and why is he making a blog about a fantasy football league?" Well the answer is clearly that I have no girlfriend, hobbies, or life to keep me occupied. Plus I would like to document my domination of the league so that it remains on the internet for all time.
In the coming weeks this blog will be used to post standings, power polls, weekly picks, and general commentary on the league that will hopefully be far more comprehensive than the league message board.
The RFL Post Gazette will also be able to employ guest writers. If you're interested in posting your opinion on the league feel free to give me a shout and we can set something up to where you can post.
The first true edition will come following the August 12th keeper lock date. I'll be able to review the expansion draft, keeper winners and losers, and preview the draft.
Until then, Fuck you.
You may be asking yourself "who is this fucking guy and why is he making a blog about a fantasy football league?" Well the answer is clearly that I have no girlfriend, hobbies, or life to keep me occupied. Plus I would like to document my domination of the league so that it remains on the internet for all time.
In the coming weeks this blog will be used to post standings, power polls, weekly picks, and general commentary on the league that will hopefully be far more comprehensive than the league message board.
The RFL Post Gazette will also be able to employ guest writers. If you're interested in posting your opinion on the league feel free to give me a shout and we can set something up to where you can post.
The first true edition will come following the August 12th keeper lock date. I'll be able to review the expansion draft, keeper winners and losers, and preview the draft.
Until then, Fuck you.
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