Mocking the Draft

Well the draft picks are in and the Robry football League season is about to begin. In this edition of the RFLPG we’ll take a close look at the draft and see who came out on top and who sucked balls.


Obviously there is one pick that stood out from all the rest and rather than cover it specifically in this edition I am just going to show you what was written about it in a nationally respected newspaper.





Obviously taking Leftwich that early was the worst draft selection in the history of time. Even if Leftwich throws for 10,000 yards and one million touchdowns this year that move still blows big dick. On to the picks.

Best Picks

Kahle Bryant - Ryan Grant

I love this pick even though Kahle let the computer make it for her. Grant plays in a nice offense, behind a good offensive line and has put up solid seasons the last few years. Look for him to improve on his sub 4.0 YPC this year and be a fantasy stud for Kahle.

Da Ox Raw Dopemen - Anthony Gonzalez

I am a big fan of Gonzalez this year and word is he was almost taken number one overall in the draft. In the Colts offense he should really be outstanding.

Touchdown My Pants - Larry Johnson

Back in the good graces of his team and coaches and still the holder of immense talent LJ is poised to have a great year. Could yield outstanding value for a 7th round pick.

Buddies Blankets - Shaun Hill

Buddies finally made a good move with the selection of Shaun Hill. The former Maryland product has been named the starter and is surrounded by an ok group of talent.

Montpelier Pink Baboonsies - Shawne Marriman and Mario Williams

To get this kind of talent in the 13th round is pretty outstanding. Granted they are defensive players and not DeMarcus Ware, but pretty good.

Other picks of note: Ray Rice (rd 9) Chad Pennington (rd 8) Chris Cooley (rd 9) Chris Henry (rd 14) Nate Burleson (rd 14)

Worst Picks (Other than Leftwich)

Boston Beagles - Brandon Marshall, Willie Parker

Marshall is exceptionally talented but he has the attitude problems of sexually abused teen, Kyle Orton as hit quarterback, and a coaching staff that thinks he is garbage. Bad pick in the 6th. Parker just sucks.

Buddies Blankets - Marshawn Lynch


He’s suspended to start the year, and there was comparable talent available. Ugly. I know you have Jackson but it's still ugly.

Who Dey? All Dey! - Hines Ward


You reach for a old receiver when there is better talent on the board at the same position? Plus I thought you were a Bengals fan?

Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers - Cedric Benson, Knowshon Moreno, Ahmad Bradshaw

Why? Benson is not good at all and he plays behind a terrible O-line. You then went on to take two more running backs in the 8th round. You’re not building a pitching rotation we start two running backs. You took four rather unimpressive Rbs in the first three rounds.

Insano Flex - Chester Taylor

Your first pick of the draft, and you use it on Chester Taylor? You currently start both Adrian Peterson and Taylor. You do realize that every time Peterson carries the ball the likelihood of Taylor carrying the ball decreases by 100%. Also with Favre in town they won’t be splitting the same amount of carries.

Other crappy picks of note: Miles Austin (Rd 12) D’Qwell Jackson (Rd 13) Steven Gostkowski (Rd 14) Jerod Mayo (Rd 15)




PRESEASON POWER POLL


1. Da Ox Raw Dopemen

Two top of the line QBs, 3 sick Rbs, 4 nice WRs and a top 5 TE. The offense is there and the defense has the ability to be solid. This team is defiantly the class of his division and possibly the class of the league.

2. Montpelier Pink Baboonsies

The returning champs have put together a very impressive team. That is above average in just about every aspect. Pierre Thomas is much better than Reggie Bush but you can’t really argue with the recent fantasy results.

3. Tiger Dogcats

For some reason I always think this team is poop, but looking at the players it is actually pretty well put together. Westbrook and LT have their issues but are talented. The WRs are very well suited for the PPR format and the defense is well built. Respect.

4. Sunbury Bowl’s Bashers

The QBs both have questions and the running back situation is questionable with Jackson’s constant health issues but you can’t argue with the wide receivers. Probably the best group of them in the league.

5. The Fighting Otters


You team is nice but you took Leftwich. Kill yourself.

6. Touchdown My Pants

Pretty terrible QBs, but a nice trio of RBs and a solid core of receivers with Andre Johnson and Vincent Jackson leading the charge. This team will need some luck to compete with the big boys.

7. Kahle Bryant

With a nice creative team name this team is pretty solid. Very good QBs when healthy and two nice top wideouts. The backs are very steady. She loses points for being Robs sister and a girl.

8. Insano Flex

This team has four of the best players in the league and not much else. Peterson, Manning, Gonzalez and Fitz are great and really elevate this team. The rest of the team however is straight garbage.

9. Buddies Blankets

This team is Insano Flex light. They have four real good players in Cutler, Forte, White, and Witten but the rest of the team is dirt.

10. Boston Beagles

The QBs are full of awesome but everyone else, not so much. Parker and Smith are below average fantasy backs, and the wide outs don’t impress. Plus I still don’t think this team has an owner.

11. Maggie Roush

I look at this team and I don’t see a whole lot. McNabb and Garrard are older and have issues. Thomas Jones is splitting carries with two other backs. Housh and Jennings are both good WRs. Again it’s a girl and team sucks.

12. Who dey? All Dey!

Seriously. The best player on your team is a guy that Ochocinco. Don’t get me wrong. I love Ocho, but he can’t be your best player. You make me want to puke.


Well that's it for this time out. Next edition will have previews of the upcoming matchups and possibly an interview with another owner.