Conversing with Kevin

With the RFL Draft set to occur this Thursday, the RFLPG sat down with the owner/general manager of Buddies Blankets. This is the first interview for the RFLPG but the hope is that it will become a frequent occurrence in order to get feedback and opinions from the leagues owners.

RFLPG - Let’s start this off with the most obvious question. Do you know what the word trade means? And if so, how do you allow yourself to continue to make trades when it has been painfully obvious that you come out on the losing end every time?

Kevin Roush - The trade to which I assume you are referring is the trading of the 22nd pick to the DogCats for nothing. It was pure and simple a cost-cutting move. The Blankets play in a small market and we have to save where we can. Our organization did not think we could get a difference maker in round 22 so we figured we might as well sell it for some cap relief.

RFLPG - What do you think about the Magneton division? Can your team win it? Why on earth would you think it could?

KR - The Magneton Division seems to me to resemble the AL Central this year, in that there is no dominant team and it is very up for grabs. There is still a lot to be determined with who comes out on top after the draft, but the one thing that is for sure is that Who Dey? All Day! is an automatic win for everyone.

RFLPG - Besides your team, what other teams in the league do you think will have success this year?

KR - The pundits will talk about the defending champion Baboonzies and the gaudy amount of draft picks possessed by Sunbury Bowl's Bashers, but the team I'm looking at to excel this season is the Dopemen. Connor Miller consistently drafts and signs free agents better than any other team and I sincerely believe that he would have won the league last year had it not been for the unfortunate injury to franchise quarterback, Tom Brady, last season.

RFLPG - You recently responded to an article on the RFLPG in defense of your sister but did not offer a defense for the things said about you and your team. Does that mean you agree with the RFLPG article?

KR - To clarify, the advice I gave Maggie was to trade with Matt Redd and Shawn as much as possible (Shawn had been on a trade-accepting spree during that time period). Unfortunately, she misused that advice. This problem will not occur again.

But to answer your question, I am not in the business of defending my own moves. I let my team answer all your questions on the field.　

RFLPG - Do you have any specific strategy or plans for the upcoming draft? Besides sucking of course.

KR - The guy I'm really looking "hard" at is Visanthe Shiancoe. I always draft on penis size and whether or not I have seen a player's penis. It's just good business.

RFLPG - Week one you’re matched up against the Montpgetafuckingshorternameassholes. How do you think your team will match up? What do you think about Robry and his defense of the league title?

KR - The Montpeliar Pink Baboonzies are going to be a tough team with which to begin the season. It's still unclear how these teams will match up given that the rosters are incomplete.

However, to answer your question about RoBry's chances to a three-peat, I have to say the cards are stacked against him. Although he has a good draft, it isn't the best, and his keepers, I believe, hold great risks. Romo and Roy Williams have not looked to be on the same page since Williams joined the Cowboys. T.O. is old and on a poor offensive team with a poor quarterback in a cold city. Reggie Bush isn't even a starting running back and is also injury prone...there are just too many questions. To win the league again this year would take a Herculean performance by his defense, also known as "pure luck." You can't count out the Baboonzies...after all, that is how they won it all last season.

RFLPG - Lets say we both work at Panera. I am training you on the sandwich line and we need lettuce to be stocked up. I ask you to go to the back to get some. What would you bring me?

KR - I'd probably sleep walk into the refrigerator and get the greenest thing I can find...NO MATTER WHAT.

RFLPG - Give me your picks for the leagues division winners and who will make it to the RFL championship this year.

KR - In the Mewtwo Division, I can't go against the Baboonzies. Kahle has the strongest keepers, but you have to assume that the owner of Montpelier is going to rob his family blind of their assets and will somehow pull out the Mewtwo Division.

The Snorlax Division belongs to the Bashers. It's named after him for Christ's sake.

Maggie and Insano Flex go into this season with confidence, but Da OX Raw Dopemen are just too good of an organization to not win their division. Write that one down in pen.

As far as the Magneton Division is concerned, I have to have confidence in myself and go with the Blankets.

Assuming the top of the league is one conference and the bottom is another, I see the Dopemen knocking off the Bashers in the RFL Championship.

RFLPG - What two teams do you think will make it to the Superbowl in the NFL?

KR - I'm not really sure what the NFL is, I'm guessing it's some kind of RFL farm system type thing. But just off the top of my head, I'm going to say The Eagles over the Patriots.

RFLPG - If you’re Magneton, what would you do to defeat my Dugtrio?

KR - Well this is a tough one. First, I would probably put up a Light Screen to limit your special advantage. Next, I probably use something like Supersonic to confuse you. For the rest of the time, I would just use Tackle and keep you confused until you fainted. Frankly, that is just not a good matchup for me.

RFLPG - Do you have any closing remarks? Would you like to call anyone out?

KR - Yes, I would like to call out John Glenn. Suck my bahhls you rotten motherfucker!!!

I would also like to call out Maggie but I'll wait to do that during my toast at her wedding which will be 100% devoted to talking shit about her team.

I would also like to call out Kahle for no reason. Come get some!

Thanks for havin' me on the show, Jeff.

Well that's all for this edition. Look back after the draft for a review and a preseason power poll.

EDIT: It has come to my attention that Blankets does not play Baboons week one. I just looked at the thing that said Roush at Bryant. That is actually Maggie at Kahle. Girls... CHANGE YOUR NAMES!